When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
Katy Perry is on a Proactiv commercial. That "I kissed a girl" shit is so much less hot now.
im using the astroglide sample u sent me as a bookmark for the book im using to write my midterm paper. i need to get laid. bad.
I made friends with a raccoon. I pet it. Like I was Pocahontas.
Saturday dinner is funfetti cake and merlot. Singlehood has come to this.
I pissed myself at the bar so I threw away my wet underwear and kept partying... you act you've never done that before
Haha...we lost by one cup to a guy w shitty facial hair. What makes me most mad abt the loss is that I could grow a better beard on my vag.
Climbing out Mr. Friday night's bathroom window. He thinks I'm puking. Be on state st. with the getaway car and if you could bring me a shirt and some advil that'd be dandy.
So proud. See you in five. I've got coffee.
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
Don't have sex in a tent there are so many opportunities for infections
Then while I was crying on his shoulder, he got a boner. Soo. I kinda just hopped on.
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
I got so drunk last night that I was drunk in my dream. Good night
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