Yeah but my nose is so stuffed if I tried to give him head I'd suffocate
I hope the kids appreciate the fact that I jizzed on her instead of on their slide.
What's the most polite way to ask if you puked in my vase?
Still had my bottle opener ring on. Started to give him a hand job. LOL
Hickey on my chest, threw out my elbow and now walking out my shame.
Youre getting too old for this
Meh. People are people bro. All of us are hairless psychotic apes. Happy 420.
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
Sounds good. Look at us. Planning sex like proper adults.
I'm now using my vagina for good, not evil. Trying to restore balance to the force.
I found a Trump-humping republican virgin born on the goddamn Fourth of July. I NEED to hate-fuck him.
I'll be perfectly honest; there are times other guys have consented to have sex with me because of my punctuation.
just found a picture from last night.
the one of you riding a horse with nothing but a bulletproof vest on?
uhm.... no?...
as a self proclaimed hoe im ok with a lotta things but that is not fucking one of them
What do you think would be the best way to remove a baby carrot from a vagina?
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
