I really think my calling is to star in a Live Links commercial
People in love make me want to vomit
Balls are like the throw pillows of the penis
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Rule of thumb; if you ask me if my tits are fake you will not get to touch them.
We started pregaming at 8. It's 11, and her only 11:11 wish is to be sober. It's hard to not love her.
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Have you ever hotboxed under your comforter? Best. Decision. Ever.
Good to know. If our sexting moves past early 1900s vernacular, I'll be sure to use that once or twice.
How much beer/TP for a BJ? Trying to set my new rates.
Randomize
