is it wrong to smoke out middle schoolers?
yes...dear jesus what did you do?
bwahaha. ask your little brother in about 20 minutes. im dropping him off.
the 3rd commandment: and god said, if you buy a handle.. you must finish it.
I'm drinking a margarita out of my 'best bj' trophy and it tastes like victory.
She threw up in the hot tub how's your night
Oh god I may vomit into the teacup of debauchery.
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just commented on the education level of his penis.
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
My cardio is walking around the office looking for free food.
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Is it just me or is Michael Jackson blasting throughout the house
If i'm not ready, make sure i'm alive. Not passed out dead in the shower.
I'll still do breakfast to celebrate the life you've had.
If I die bedazzle my coffin please.
I'll text you tomorrow when I'm not in someone's torture cave if I don't by noon call for help.
Randomize
