I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
WHAT IS WRONG WITH SOCIETY?!?!?!
... says the kid who took a shit in my parents dishwasher...
we were watching porn and trying to copy the position they were doing now i think my hip is dislocated
Friends don't let friends talk to people who live in Orlando. Sorry I've failed you.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Did you make me take pictures of your ass last night because you fucked on some wet paint or did i dream that?
My last google search of the night was "Things that cost $102.50"
Just traded the drive-through guy at BK a Dos Equis for a Hershey pie before noon... win?
I want to own their dicks and all the attachments
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
I'm sort of afraid for my life tho. If the 4th of July can be the way it was a DMX show is capable of anything
I still blew him because I won't let allergies keep me from doing what I want. But I almost suffocated like 10 times.
Um that's okay I got up on the table at IHOP and terrorized the entire restaurant for a phone charger after I stole the whip cream from the kitchen and started eating it out the can
How did i spend $200 last night?
Every time you went to get me a drink, you also came back with shots. Then you fell down the steps.
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
Randomize
