is he apposed to sex in general? or just porch sex?
apparently my insurance doesn't cover road head. Bummer.
There is a different car in my driveway. Have no clue how I got home.
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
My blowjobs put them in a state of relaxation similar to that of getting hit with a tranquilizer. The fear comes after the sex.
Screw them and thier engaged asses. I've got liquor to drink and boys I don't know to make out with.
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Worst case scenario, I put a giant cork in your vagina so you don't give birth before my birthday
I'm really sorry that I blew your friend in your bed, but to be fair he started it.
i wear a size 32DD bra. its basically impossible for me to get a speeding ticket
I just went through the Wendy's drive thru only wearing a towel. My life has hit an all time low
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
No one wanted to hang out so vodka and I are hanging out
He played Harry Potter Fan Fiction videos to get me in the mood. He might be the one.
"Being an adult" and "being happy" are two circles that do not overlap in my Venn diagram of life.
Randomize
