i just met rob pattinson in italy. he's so stupid, i feel like i would have to say "your penis goes here!"
Just saw a girl i'm pretty sure is simultaneously jailbait and a milf. I never want to leave mexico.
We agreed to not shave eyebrows when someone is passed out. douchebag.
Nope, just sitting on the couch, eating an advent calendar, being depressed about the herps.
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
My birthday was already very memorable but her punching me in the face put it over the top. I love being 25 and still not giving a fuck.
I meant to thank you again for giving up a potential interracial threesome to come to my party. I'm glad you stayed!
Basically, I'm sure one day I'll look back on this part of my life and be ashamed....
I've been smoking weed using candles all week and I just found a lighter. This may truly be the happiest moment of my life. It's embarrassing how excited I got
A Morman just tried to recruit me and I told him "Trust me, you don't want me"
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
I love everything about him! His penis, his hair, his tattoos, his penis, his cat, his penis.
I really need to stop having sex.. I haven't been able to get a brush through the back of my hair for a good week and a half
he told me I was hypnotizing him with my mouth so I guess I do give good head
He bought me a bottle of Malibu. I think I could love this guy.
I've loved people for a lot less.
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