Yeah, it was perfect until the end. Apparently women are super attracted to me until the sleeping with part.
Latenightwjoannablackberrywontletmespaceitknowsimdrunk
it felt like I walked into a Tool Academy challenge
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
someone just laughed at me while i'm laying on the floor waiting for the bus. like they've never been hungover.
You were definitely doing something right. You could only see the colored parts of his eyes a couple of times. I was pretty sure he was dead at some point.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
I'm pretty sure I got a cavity today due to how many times I've puked hungover at work.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
LESSON OF THE DAY: Saying Everclear gets you out of explaining anything.
Hired a new intern today and we have something in common. I blew her boyfriend in high school. Do you think she knows?
Just when I thought I was growing up, I go out and TOTALLY REDEEM MYSELF
the guy next to you kind of looks like a penguin. i'm going to fuck him
She swallowed the car key because she thought we were really going to make her drive.
What time is our conjugal visit?
Umm...who is this?
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