I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
people should stop making movies, we'll never top bio-dome.
opening your purse in class to grab a pen only to find dollar bills and pink fuzzy handcuffs instead...that's a cool feeling
Some chick in the back of my Psychologhy of Addictions class just did a line off her hand. She tried to make it look subtle.
I just saw the nastiest chick.
Where?
woke up next to her... fuck you jack daniels, fuck you
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
oh and then you called a time out with your penis
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
The really sad thing is that I actually practiced crawling in my room yesterday in preparation for today
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
Considering we're about to fuck, I really need your girlfriend to stop liking all my Facebook posts.
I have already put on my inside pants.
So you completely disappeared from my memory last night at about my 15th Jager bomb. But only you. No one else.
Is 6 weeks really a benchmark now?
Ask me in 6 more weeks, when they're in a bisexual polycule.
Randomize
