I just pynch a tree in the face
Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
omg i can't drink anymore.. i just pulled up my dress and started playing with my vagina
oh my god i am going to vomit. and little burgers wearing crowns are going to come out.
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
Don't ask how, but I'm pretty sure my name is now on a lease to a taco bell franchise in maryland...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
when the song champagne showers came on you poured some kids beer over his head... while giving him a lap dance
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I just put on underwear fresh outta the dryer and it's like tiny Angels are giving them warm supportive hugs all over
Good. Go forth, young stallion. Destroy the vaginal region with your tidy crotch.
Note to self, the correct response when a guy tells you he likes you as a person is not "ew"
I'm definitely drunk. At the gyno. On my birthday. Life is a joooooooke
Randomize
