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ok, stay where you are, be there soon
If it makes you feel any better I'm plucking my mustahce and drinking. Alone.
Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
We each get one free throw up cleaning, no questions asked.
he met me at the airport with a welcome home sign with a grilled cheese, PBR and a blow job on it. i missed america.
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
I do not want to do anything. The words more tequila need to be erased from my vocabulary
you act like breakfast cereal isnt an entirely appropriate chaser
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
Part of me was thinking I should go old school and get a chasity belt before the semester starts. Really lock that shit down. But then I thought, fuck that. I'm going to hit that campus like an f5 whorenado
Plus, I've always wanted to drive in rush hour with a huge cock drawn on my hood
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
I love that you'd blow off your high school reunion to get shit faced in an aquarium with us
Um. We all know how I feel about sea life
We celebrated Cinco the right way. We took shots of 1800 then he fucked me while Selena was on TV in the background
Her tits are so fantastic they gave him a panic attack.
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