I just know... :) goodntight
Whoops, meant "goodnight", but the other is true too.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I don't know where my bra went.
Welll you ran into the street, took it off and yelled "I'm a free woman!". And then you threw it at some homeless guy.
Are you asking me on a date where we get shithoused and do some fingerpainting?
Too high to move please buy hi-c and pour it in my mouth in exchange I will marry your first born child
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Talked to Nate, told him he was a douche. Will give details when sober. It's ok. You're my best friend together a wolf pack. Olive juice.
That was obviously his first time talking dirty. He called my vagina "pretty"
I just paid for weed by taking him to the store to buy cheese so he could make empanadas. Best. Drug deal. Ever.
I just had sex with the male version of myself. looks, mindset, even our boob to dick ratio was the same
CURSE YOU AND YOUR SEXY LOGIC
ive decided that just saying "yes" when people assume I am something other than Caucasian will highly benefit my love life. last night I was native.
My new plan is to whip out my titties when they arrive. Maybe they won’t notice that I broke the couch fucking my boss...
Randomize
