I love black thongs
How many times do you have to sleep with a guy before you get him to kiss you???
Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
what is college for if not random hookup sex?
learning.
i would literally fuck learning if i could.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
She said, "awww, you're so sweet" after I started putting on a condom. How many STDs have I just contracted?
Oh, and i love you too. Im just a selfish dick who had to talk about myself first
Sex last night was mind blowing. your wife is one lucky lady.
You made out with two different species that night
The trash can in my living room is full of Popsicle sticks and my vibrator has taken up permanent residence on my coffee table. I'm not doing anything productive. Clearly.
I can always pull a half day at work too. My boss makes exceptions for drug use. Lol. I fucking love my job.
I'm worried my dog collar isn't going to come in time. I might be trying on dog collars at PetSmart next week. That could get awkward.
Between his smile and monumental dick even the virgin mary woulda blown that man and I am far from the virgin. I didn't stand a chance.
Randomize
