We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
It's amazing how much better one feels once you put something in your vagina.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
we have to top last new years. except im not ready for jail. that can wait a couple years
Dude, this is like the 4th time today I've had to use cruise control for a 25mph zone. This hangover is never fucking gonna end.
Traded my phone for pizza, then got it back this morning....successful night
Oh my god. I just RAN OVER a child. Oh my god this isnt my day. That kid was cool as fuck though
Had mirculous sex while watching miracle. Until she got mad that I kept quoting the movie. Not my fault I'm a good multi-tasker
Do you believe in miracles?
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I won't be able to get a boner for a month
Challenge accepted.
As Scar once said. Be prepared! For the shit show of what's coming tonight
Yeah. I woke up in an awkward three way spoon with him and his sister. Tequila!
I just lectured my ex boyfriend on how to eat a girl out what has my life come to
You lost to your mom AND grandma in beer pong last night. pretty sure that constitutes a retirement from the sport
Randomize
