she said i was amazing, then i left to room to take the rubber off and came back to find her masturbating with my xbox controller while niko got a call from roman.
i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
You hooked up with another girl while you were with me. You were literally holding my hand while you did it.
no i brought the cat to the bar. I got a weird look when I walked in but now everyone loves her.
We need to get sombreros so I can give them to strippers.
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
If my sophomore year were to be made into a novel, it would be titled "dances with salvia"
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
The walk of shame was so much longer today. i have to start fucking guys in my own postcode.
I love how when he said ecstasy pills both of our heads whipped around like a couple of horned owls.
Randomize
