If Ritalin and Plan B had an illegitimate child it would smell like me.
I love her so much that if I could have sex with her I wouldn't cuz my dick would feel out of place in such a perfect body/vagina
She put baby oil on her toes and i am not legally allowed to talk about what happened
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
And is it bad that I haven't talked to guys who I haven't already dated? I feel like a recycle bin.
Duuuude someone spilled hot sauce all over the floor and trailing outside wtf
OH GOD IT'S BLOOD. THIS IS ALOT OF BLOOD.
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
It's like if you wanna bond just do a ropes course or have group sex you don't have to be weird about it
I spend so much of my life shaving my body hair off and I want nothing more than his beard in all my hairless places.
Riddle me this: How does one check in at the Marriott, but wake up at the W?
Homeboy just asked me to strip for him. He should not be this horny and allowed to be in Vegas with his kid.
So the next time I search for "Dragon Dildo" on my phone, I should probably clear the browser before handing my phone to someone and that's the first thing they see haha
Just got an exam care package consisting of only adderall wrapped in money. Score one for mom.
My vagina cried when he left. I think she's about to be at war with my self respect.
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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