Why does Thanksgiving make hot girls feel disgusting and fat girls feel horny? Its killing my prospects.
so I finished the entire bottle...next thing I know, it's 8 am and I wake up on the fucking beach in the low tide with a family standing about 30 feet from me just staring.
I feel like everyone would be happy with that as a present too. "Oh you got me pussy for Christmas?! How'd you know?!"
What goes on in that head of yours?
Gay sex, for the most part. Why?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
His new place is a molesden. Like a hole in the ground. It's frightening how oddly private it is.
It rubs the lotion on it's foreskin...
30 year old woman with braces and crocs came into the store today with her boyfriend. what am I doing wrong.
Side note, i did some manscaping and now my farts sound way different
Glad I can drunkenly remember to not get tomatoes on my Mexican pizza but can't tell a guy to keep his hands off my ass
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
sweating bourbon at client mtg -- you?
It reeks of weed and poor life decisions in here
Last night a drunk chick tried to lick me. If you are trying to lick the zombies, you are too drunk for the haunted house.
They tricked me into going into that room by saying we'd smoke a bowl and then they all proceeded to have an intervention with me about my love life.
You kept calling yourself a spider monkey... Then ran to the bathroom to "prepare for the main event"
I need advice on ways to politely say “fuck you on your way to hell”.
Randomize