38 yer olds are good kisserssss
mid-sex i was thinking.. these are not the right balls slapping me
But please don't judge me if i smell like mustard
Dude in front of me just jumped out of line at Starbucks to go puke. Vegas in prime form.
He went down on me while I had rollers in my hair. I've never felt more like a lady.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Just got kicked out of two hot tubs. We were naked the second time. So awkward getting out in front of the security guard.
The waitress asked if you wanted white or brown, and you said "Isn't it all the same color when it's toasted?". She stared at you for about 20 seconds before she decided that you weren't fucking with her.
I am literally drinking 7 day old water and looking for snacks in my room so I won't have to go in the hall and see roommate, because we accidentally banged last night. Please bring over some chicken and plan b.
PS there is a naked boy in my bed and I just left for the bar...
Why did the sexual harassment class show a clip from frozen?
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
He’s 48, has a Prince Albert piercing and a white Range Rover
I don't know if I'm having early flu symptoms, a miscarriage, or am badly hungover. Web md agrees.
Randomize
