And mexicans. My burrito likes you.
Short Circuit remake moving forward, David Carradine dead by his own hand. Come home soon, society deteriorating rapidly. Nation's capitol likely not safe.
I think we should start referring to bisexuals as "strays"
the boy next to me on the plane handed me a shot glass, then a perkaset, and told me to have a good week off..hellllo spring break.
I knew it was different as soon as you told me you slept with him and didn't tell me about his dick
I do what I can to inject something into your life every day. Today, humor. Saturday. Penis.
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
It's my coworker's last day party and I'm the one who ended up shitfaced on the train with half a bottle of belvedere in my bag.
that was THE gayest party i've ever been to
To be fair, the theme was Cabaret. I don't know what you were expecting.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
He said you asked to eat pepperoni off his dick and he thought it was weird
I mean I thought it sounded fun
I AM SMARTER THAN EVERY FUCKBOY WHO HAS EVER SWIPED LEFT ON ME
Im just drunk enough to admit that I miss Hannah Montana.
Randomize
