why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
After she threw up on my floor she started singing "this is why I'm hot."
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
tolerance is too high. going on a liquor strike. ghandi style.
hey dont come home for a while, moms drunk and is telling the story of 'how she met dad at that orgy' again
ATTN: We are officially 15 weeks from our annual "Get-Mega-Stoned-and-BBQ" event. Start saving up the proper supplies. That is all.
You. Me. Frosting and a bed. Lets do this.
So the bump is from hitting my head in an elevator. Apparently I dived into a cab head first too.....
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
There is a special place in Hell for whichever one of you put Ben Gay on my dildo. It was a very uncomfortable April 1.
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
"There should be some kind of award for sleeping with your ex 9 times in 3 days."
She was giving me head, and a cop pulled up next to us. I freaked when he looked over at me, but so did he and rear ended the car in front of him.
So in hindsight, going through the McDonald's drive thru plastered at 4 a.m. on stolen bikes was a bad idea.
Randomize
