i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
if my college career had corporate sponsors, they would be natty light and aim toothpaste.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
We banged through her entire lady gaga playlist. I can die happy now
Hooked up with an Aussie chick last night only an Indonesian chick away from completing my lap around the pacific rim
i caught myself talking to a pigeon about my yeast infection.
I think a girl on my floor is watching zombie porn. There is literally no other description for the noise coming from her room.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
also karaoke with swedish 7yr old and drunk 50yr old = best idea ever
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Maybe next year when I'm 30 I will be over puking at lunch on Fridays. Maybe
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
But I did discover that he's totally okay with going down on me while I eat taco bell so that's a plus, right?
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
"fuck it, let's do moonshine" shouldn't be in ANYONE'S vocabulary.
Randomize
