I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Completly hung over at midnight, I knew there was a downside to drinking at 2pm
we could easily be the first people to smoke 3 bowls and pound a Four Loco before goin on a tour of the Tillamook cheese factory
i think i scared a bird with my dick
I just got a flashback from Saturday night of you helping me wash my feet in the bar's bathroom.
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
You were in subway at 3am showing everyone your tan lines
The worst part was I wasn't conscious enough to move out of the way, I knew i was being puked on but I couldn't move.
I brought a guy home then decided no. Took him back to the bar and said "I'm going to drop you where I found you. Have fun"
she's an english major so her sexts are something i look forward to
Who knew that showing someone your boobs would make them stop crying.
Damn Instagram explore page. I am six months in to some girl I don't even know.
So I was laying on the couch reading a book and he texted me. All I saw was the image of him spitting on my vagina last night in the moonlight. I gagged.
I don't think getting eaten out in a smart car behind a circle-k on my break by a guy I just met classifies as social distancing, but I'm beginning to love night shift more and more.
Randomize
