apparently it's not kosher to shit in a litter box when there's a line for the bathroom
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
He's going to regret telling me he doesn't care if i shave or not...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
If I don't end up being a booty call for Valentine's Day, you wanna go to the movies?
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
you threw me on the ground pryed my purse out of my hands screaming " I JUST WANNA HOLD IT A LITTLE BIT". later i found you putting on my lip gloss.
Listen I took a family sized bottle of merlot to the face last night and there's an svu marathon on. Give me some time please.
How bout we save the 40s for when we FINISH the project this time..
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
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