On a scale of affliction to ed hardy, how douchy is in there right now?
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
If he thought that flying across an ocean to visit me in London constituted sex, he thought wrong.
koolaid chicken. i marinated it for 2 hours and roasted it on a rock in a fire. it was bright blue and raw. but that shit was tasty
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
Sadly him cutting me out of the duct tape dress was NOT the most awkward part of the night. It was a littleeee moist under there.....
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
I found dried jizz from last night on my leg while feeding an infant a bottle. I am not fit to care for children
We sexted for four hours straight. Is this really what my life has come to?
Also, I had mind-blowing sex on a pool table
she keeps trying to brush her hair with leaves and insisting she's not high
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
