saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
Is it really that bad? I heard it was like pooping. I like pooping.
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
You're breaking my vagina 4 times a day I reserve the right to know your middle name.
FUUUUUCK she froze all my quaters inside the ice cubes again
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
I'm not drinking cause I'm like 4 vodkas away from a boom box and Peter Gabriel.
My kids are NEVER playing in the park more than 2 feet away from me until they are capable of punching an eagle.
Are you aware that you called me "Sexy clit lady" last night?
New drinking game: Drink while you Drink. I'll explain the rules when I see you, needless to say, it's not difficult. Unless you enjoy sobriety, humanity and life. Bestest.
It's like the first time your mom catches you masturbating. We both know what she saw. We're just not talking about it...
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
I feel like I hate him but his dick too bomb to hate completely
We got really excited for country fried steak then we had sex.
Randomize
