Somerville?? What the hell are you going to do there?
Watch a movie and have sloppy make outs OBVI. 45 Harris St. in case I die.
He asked for his proof of insurance and he pulled out a Magnum by mistake. All of the sudden gignger was looking real good to me.
i had a dream last night that my liver tore its self out of my body and ran away.
Our phone convo was getting intense. Then I heard her say "quiet mommy is trying to have phone sex"
I just peed in the Schreyer honors college shrubbery. Thanks honors students, you're finally good for something
my dad just referred to me and my boobs as 'the three of you'
According to google history I spent most of last night trying to buy an elephant.
there is a dude in the bar with no arms getting fed beers by his friends
Are you complaining because you're getting too much sex to find the time to masturbate?
Well, when you say it like that it sounds silly.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
The best part about this city is obvious. Someone saw me crouching by a bar pissing in my leftover Panera bread bowl and they just winked.
Well we did eat French fries lady-and-the-tramp style last night...
Now I have to set an alarm for less than 6 hours from now to wake her up, get her showered and get her to her first day of tutoring a kid from her church. WTF is my life?
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
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