That chick was all over your bacon last night, grinding on you, I thought you were going to bang her in the club
Dude it was a lap dance
take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
She announced her abortion via fbk
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I put labels all over the house on things I think are mine. A cactus, the dog, and a bottle of wine.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Our penis' have led to more networking than mark zuckerberg.
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
Like I cant decide if he's like autistic or something or just seriously cock blocks himself on purpose with this shit
Sometimes you have a glimmer of a heart and then I immediately remember you are dead inside.
You're wearing pigtails and giving away our kitchen appliances. Clearly, you're drunk.
Hahahaha. He sent me a dick snap in the lululemon stockroom. What is life. If this works out, this could benefit everyone....
it was like where's waldo, only the stakes were much higher.
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