OH MY GOD! I just remembered how we ended our bar time last night: picking up and drinking random drinks that ppl had left. wtf is wrong with us?! that's so ghetto!
No. You're kidding.
I am not. I wish I were. I speak the truth.
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
I saw those LARP guys in the street again. One is hot, the other looks like Corey Fieldman's retarded son.
I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
we're on our way back. she tried to pants the waiter again.
Im only slightly posetive that left over guacamole and wine are unacceptable for breakfast at 6.30 am
Was awful. Wedding photos taken by a river with used syringes floating past. Had to ask the bride to put down a can of rum to have her photo taken.
Shotgunning beers to finish a midterm project at 3am is a good idea right?
I'm home, and it turns out she didn't get it all. still picking Oreos out of my pubes.
Dislocated my knee during sex, popped it back in and kept going. Then got simpathy chipotle out of it too.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
MY GOD WHY DIDN'T I TAKE PHOTOS OF HIS CREDIT CARDS WHILE HE WAS SLEEPING
Ah Christ I think I've reached the single life mentality 100%. I just inquired a photographer about a photo shoot with my dog.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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