Do u think she knows her nickname is the oompa loompa
Apparently mid blow job I started crying telling her how "Wonderful this blow job is"
I could give you a full detailed description of 75% of the penises in that room
If youre the one that ate my brownies this morning I only have two things to say to you
Those had pot in them
And good luck on your interview asshole
so i literally woke up after a night of doing lines to a bag of pretzels falling off my bed. a reminder that maybe this is a contributing factor to my freshman 15.
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I asked for a steak knife but the waitress could see in my eyes it was a bad idea
can anyone on this campus do anything sober?
The most humiliating part was that I farted while he was tasing me.
I like dinosaurs. I like penises. It's kind of a win win
Better safe and shitfaced than hungover and in need of another surgery.
I wish I had a picture of me and ron helping that stripper lick her own vagina
I'm definitely not going to be able to fuck him high. I won't be able to not laugh at his man boobs
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Someone wrote "LazerSwords" on my cock last night. My erect cock. Tequila is no one's friend.
Randomize
