It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
i was like a deer caught in headlights with its coke-dick hanging out
Anyone who says sunshine brings happyness has never woken up with the worst hangover of their life to their window being open and it being a bright shinny day
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
I heard porn and smelled bacon cooking. I knew you had to be home.
did you come by the house last night? I found a half eaten corn dog in the mail box.
Results of pregaming honors college basketball social: 18 points, 3 blocks, and 3 flagrant fouls leading to 2 broken bones on former valedictorians. I'm doing this more often.
If drinking before honors events and injuring our universities brightest doesn't get you kicked out of the program, you're not trying hard enough.
We found you wrapped up in a tarp in the garage the next morning, thats how real shit got.
Whats proper etiquette for apologizing to your wife for being so drunk you stood up and pissed on the bedroom floor next to the bed?
I Woke up still tied to the bed. I would say, it was a good night!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
I’m doing some soul searching to figure out how much of a slut I’m going to be the rest of the summer.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
