it was like the sexual equivalent of when Wilson fell off the raft and floated away
It's really too bad Cosmo doesn't have "What To Do When You've Drunkenly Sucked His Dick and He Doesn't Text You Back" article.
I heard from multiple reliable sources that she doesn't have a gag reflex. Of course I'm going to try to go home with her.
I can't wait. Forget the royal wedding. This is the most anticipated hookup of 2011.
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...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I got stood up on a date. They are singing "dancing with myself" on karaoke in my honor.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
Just you wait I'll be crying and puking everywhere in no time
I would have been very attracted to her had she not been reading me my Miranda Rights
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You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
I can't believe I ever hated her sister or friends. They got her some sexy sexy ass lingerie for the honeymoon. I think I love them bitches
I just saw elmo dancing with gumby. The bars at 7a.m. are AWESOME.
Yah. Then he started clapping my boobs together in his hands and started shouting "the seas are angry!"
only 4 hours until nug lovin time
excuse me?
nug lovin. lovin nugs.
I didn’t spend $100 for a wax to sit here and listen to you FT your brother to complain about how bad the Jets are.
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