If God had a period, it would result in diet faygo redpop
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
he said he got tested two months ago... he goes with his whole family.
I came over to his house for a party and realized I was quoted on the fridge... "How'd I get rug burn on my face?" And yes, my name was right next to it!
had a guy just try to take his underwear off in the middle of the bar w o taking his pants off. That kind of Sunday afternoon
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
The guy next to me in the library just got a call from his roommate asking him to come bail him out of jail...we need to step up our game.
I think he's hit rock bottom. You know it's a low point in life when you cry because you weren't invited to sit in a box car and watch porn with two other straight dudes.
Girl this is ridiculous I told my self that I would stop having sex in stairwells yet it keeps happening
Whiskey. Because sometimes it's fun to have your hands go numb.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
It's not a hangover, it's "slept on a couch with another person and said person moves a lot and is loud"
Stop inviting Kevin over. The dickless wonder started playing some strange Sci-FY music and speaking an alien language and the girls split.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize
