i jhust puked up my retainher.
yeah my walk of shame consisted of driving on the wrong side of the road at 6am still drunk with cum drying in my hair and left eye.
this weekend will be like the season finale to my life
my financial goal is to have my cable back before football season starts
Sober December ended when I found beer behind my bed...I lost $2000 but spent 6 hours sober. Meet me at the bar?
she's using the space heater to try to heat up a pop-tart...
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
she cut her forehead open playing a drunken game of pin the tail on the donkey and now she's having a panic attack.
How on earth did you break your wrist?
I went into someone's yard so I could pee and I found a tireswing
There is a video recording of my birth. I have seen it. It is terrifying.
The only word that describes how much hair I shaved off of my ass is "considerable".
i just got carded for condoms. wtf.....this is new. isnt safe sex a good thing?
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
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