well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
Afterwards she kept poking it and saying "it looks so sad and small" I dont know if I wanted to reach this state in our relationship...
we made malted milkshakes. malt as in malt liqour.
..She then engaged in what she called an "interpretive pole dance"
I can't tell which way is up. Too many corners around his house too. An arbitary assimilation of edges.
Christ, I swear you are the high man's Dr. Seuss.
I swear if she asks me for a baby one more time I'm gonna sleep with one of her friends
i get drunk faster, i spend less money on food, and i'm losing a shit ton of weight. depression and its pills are doing wonders for me
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
Are the transvestites working the counter tonight? Last time I was there they gave me love advice.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
I got St Patrick's Day drunk on Friday and apparently ordered a Total Gym in the middle of the night
What happened last night? All I know is that I walked into class this morning and everyone was chanting my name.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
