no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
you kept trying to make scrambled eggs with 3 hardboiled ones.
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
I JUST WANT SOMEBODY TO EXPLAIN HOW FORESKIN WORKS AND DO NOT UNDERSTAND WHY THIS IS A PROBLEM.
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
Finishing last nights 1.5L of wine and beef jerky for breakfast. Work looms, ever the prickly bitch.
Who was the girl that woke me up at 4am to tell me "there's an emergency, we need you to come smoke weed"
I woke up wearing a headband made of condoms. It was supposed to be a crown for the "prettiest fag hag" award I won last night. There is lube in my hair. I'm going back to sleep
Yeah when I texted her last night the only response I got was "stoned eating cobbler."
I wish our county sheriff had a comment section for their mugshots.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
We share an apartment, weed and genitals. It's called being practical not in love.
He just made this face while he was fucking me and he looked like the hunchback of Notre Dame, I had to stop him.
Can we be gay Bert and Ernie for Halloween?
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