if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Drunk in some girls audi what the fuck is happenin i love sb
it's ELEVEN
thirty
You guys need to stop introducing me as "the girl you shared"
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
I hope your pay increase has gone through because I might need bail. This is not what I dreamed adulthood would be like.
I can't even masturbate anymore!! That was my last source of cardio!!
he could've at least fucked me twice. that's just common courtesy.
You told me to keep you from drinking, but we both know I'm not that kind of friend.
We're doing a team debriefing of Saturday night in group text right now. As 75% of the female presence at that party we saw some shit.
I'd say "I think I gave my TA chlamydia" is an accurate way to sum up my life.
There's a bull to ride and dancing on the bar is encouraged. This is my heaven. And this is why god made leopard tube tops.
next time you go get food at three am and leave a rando here can you warn me??? Also i tazed him. but it was just my little one so i think he'll be fine. bring me some fries.
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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