It saddens me that girls will never know the wonder feeling of pulling your sweaty nutsack off of your leg.
Wow my backseat really seemed a lot bigger when we were 16
he kept whispering yes yes yes yes the entire 15 minutes. i almost wish it was a quickie.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
I shouldn't have had sex with her. I feel that I may have opened a pandora's vagina
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
His apology was sex and a subway sandwich. Strangely, I'm okay with that.
What are you doing? Did I punch you in the face last night?
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
Sorry but i am wayy to hungover to take mom to her AA meeting.
Wont she be proud, Hailey.
Don't you dare blame me for walking in one walking in on ur fuck session....u decided to fuck where we hid our booze
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
we got kicked out of her coke dealer's house when we wouldn't stop quoting "a league of their own"
communist
It was great. Except he kept asking me to lick his butthole, I was like firm no
You ran up a $300 bar bill on his card and he didn't have you arrested, be grateful and move on.
Randomize
