He just seriously used the word "skeet." Can we please find another way to get weed?
No. Take one for the team.
for halloween i should be pregnant. what is scarier than that?!
A true measure of a good friend is how long she responds to her friends drunken illogical texts. Youre a champ.
Is snow just God skeeting all over the place??
Yes. Yes it is.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Valentines day isn't about being a couple in love..... It's about chocolate and faking orgasms.
Dude.. full face helmets and hangovers do not mix... I am never going to get rid of the smell of puke.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Your niece just basically announced she's a whore on FB so you should feel pretty good about officiating that wedding next month.
Think of all the island guys I could have. Ah well.
You can not bait me into a "how Stella got her groove back" call and response.
Update: That guy is no longer in the restroom, so he's probably not dead.
I just want a boyfriend who will have sex to Disney Pandora.
Well. I had to explain to my niece that the word cunt is not an abbreviation for country. I'm the best aunt in the world.
dont know if she was trying to start a lawnmower or jerk me off. still wasnt to bad though
I love how my parents bring water bottles filled with vodka on family trips
Randomize
