You're my favorite asian/girl I've met here.
You're ridiculous
Your hot
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
We'll cross that bridge when we come to it... Or burn it. Either way we'll deal with it later
woke up with the bag of wine duct taped to my shoulder.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
...And then you kept screaming "cock mouth" in her face every time she tried to talk.
I hate when people see you passed out in your front yard and call 911. Like what, you can't take a nap face down on your steps at 4pm?
He used the phrase "no problemo" in a sext. It's over.
the scent of your tears make me crave pizza
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You aren't going to like my movie choice because it's a Disney movie, but I am cordially inviting you to the couch for blowjobs.
It's a low moment when you're looking at your girlfriends tits on your daughter's phone..
I bought a box of wine on my way home. I figured if I’m going to be broke during the holidays, I might as well be able to drink about it.
The man built me a fort. Of course he got laid.
I blacked out. Broke into their house. Took a shit, and left. This is why you can't leave me unattended.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
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