There was a ginger baby in the car next to me. I almost totaled my car into the center divide.
I tried to assassinate the ginger baby
what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
Im going to bring a boy home tonight, and not tell him that I have my period. So when he tries to fuck me, I say no, and look really classy. Then he thinks I'm marriage material. So I give him head.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
Apparently I was trying to convince him Springsteen has had buttsex. I ended the argument with "I bet he came from it too."
I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.
If you get me so fucked up I can't use the microwave , I'm going to be so mad at you
YOU ARE TAKING ADVANTAGE OF MY INEBRIATED STATE
YOU ARE DRUNK AND USED AND SPELLED THE WORD "INEBRIATED" CORRECTLY. I AM TAKING ADVANTAGE OF NOTHING.
I CAN'T HELP THAT I'M MULTITALENTED YA FUCKER
I will always make you feel special and slightly offended. That's my job.
She just broke into my apartment while I was asleep, woke me up and drunkenly tried to seduce me for about 2 minutes, then passed out..
I would agree. Whose business is it if I like to guzzle vodka by the liter on my of time? Answer: mine.
I had wine for breakfast at 6am, that's how visiting my parents went.
I just want someone to put their head on my boobs and laugh at my jokes ....
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
He ate me out in a limo while we were driving home. I love bars being open again!
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