I love you and miss you, which in no way dimishes how much I hate the person you turned out to be, but I still love and miss you.
what happened last night??
everyone saw ******'s vagina
and that's just the beginning
Loo but I'm already drunk TINIGHT! CAPS ATTACK
a strip club that doesn't allow touching or asking for sex... whats the point?
unless her vagina can tell me my horoscope in sign language, I'm not going.
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
Girl next to me just ralphed in a bag. Congrats class of 2010
I just asked the contractor building my house what it would cost to put a garbage disposal in all the shower drains...there was a lot of judging going on.
sitting in the bathroom telling some girl to keep puking or she will die. while holding a beer. nursing school rocks.
Come, dress lightly, bring tequila...
My hickies are dark enough that I can feel drivers judging me from across an intersection
my cat just photo bombed my nudie.. does this qualify me as a cat lady?
I forgot to lock the bathroom door. He walked in, saw me on the toliet, nodded, and walked back out.
I couldn't even tell you how many times I've said "wrong hole" today
Woke up to I'm AWESOME written in purple crayon all over my walls. I love drunk me
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
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