If Billy Mays did an infomercial on your dick, it still wouldn't get you laid.
What can I expect? While all of my friends are getting married, all of his friends are tripping on robitussin
I'm eating dry tortillas on a mattress without a sheet. and i thought my life would change after graduation.
is it too much to get a jumbo margarita in a sippy cup right now?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
He didn't dress up but kept finding random pieces of costumes on the floor at each club. He was an 80s hair band warrior at the end of the night.
Just to let you know... If you ever want to get me a gift, the One Direction perfume comes out soon....... It's called Our Moment. It's an appropriate gift for a 25 year old woman.
I didn't want to have shaved for no reason, so I told him I'd blow him if he would just come over and appreciate the smoothness of my legs.
The secret to finals week is to have an orgasm for every point you need on the test before you take it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You're like the fucking Mozart of sexting.
i now understand why vodka
I can still be you friend and be there for you. And sometimes get drunk and fuck you.
I AM A GOOD PERSON AND THEREFORE I DESERVE QUALITY DICK!
The two of us went back to your place, had sex, peed in cups, then i went home. Literally all i know
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Randomize