ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
she was seriously choking and the whole time all he kept saying was "that's what she said"
I just remember getting him back by licking the window on his truck.
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I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
he just kept texting even after we lit his shoelaces on fire. he just calmly walked into the pool... still texting.
He woke me up because I was snoring and went for a second round. First time I'm happy that I snore
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Hey I consider Sunday's trip to the ER a success. You're alive and now you know for sure you're not pregnant. I got my highest ever Tetris score. Wins all around.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
And I am bleeding like slutty girl #1 In a horror movie
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
raging hangover at work with a lunchable dreaming of the sex ill never have. my life is perfect.
now whenever i pass that house all i can think about is how i pooped in their yard..
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