My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I pulled down his boxers and a 20 dollar bill fell out. I'm telling you, the blowjob fairy EXISTS
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
you're being stingy. if you didnt want people to have sex on your couch, you shouldve specifically said so.
I peed in a 7/11 last night. Like literally pretended I pretended I was shopping, looked around, and peed on boxes in the corner. No more tequila
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
I am a woman. I need to be selective about the porn I stream on my phone. Who knows if my cell will ever get lost, who will see it and what they'd think otherwise. Keepin' it classy tampa.
Hooked up to multiple episodes of Even Stevens last night. What the fuck.
Just got discharged from the hospital after getting my finger stitched back together don't you dare say you had a worse night than me
I just got a get of my turf look from a hooker. Apparently, Ninja Turtles T-shirt+Jeans+Flip-Flops=Hooker Gear. Woot.
That hot shower felt like it washed away all of my problems... Except being pregnant... Ps just found out I'm pregnant. Fuck.
And besides a nice relationship, I just really want to get laid damnit
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
My roommate walked in on my inserting a tampon. Somehow, I don't think this will be improving our relationship.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
