Godddamnit i jsu woke up in oharee. My connecxtion left an hro ago. Thosse flight atttendants can DRinK
I wish i was in the wii world.
You said I was the most beatiful preggers youve ever seen...im not pregnant
im at a party in sweatpants, slippers, and a basketball jersey from the eighth grade, 10 bucks says im still getting laid
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
You claimed your dick was a divining rod, spun in a circle 3 times and walked into the bar you stopped in front of...consequently there was a bikini shoot going on
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
They seemed upset when they walked out and saw a penis in a mouth
making a list of all the places we've peed. separate list of places we peed when we were stoned
Two dicks, one me.
Yoga's definitely paying off.
I think if my mom ever finds out about my nipple piercings I'll just be like "mom, tbh it's a sex thing"
I accused the cab driver of smoking weed in the taxi then I remember it was me.
I know it's just really hard to give up sex and cigs during a blizzard
Randomize
