Don't look now but I am in class with a mixed drink
Don't look now but my prof just asked me if I was drinking a screwdriver
i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Pretty sure she's used to bigger guys. She kept slipping off while on top. like, constantly
So can I buy you a drink sometime?
Sure, but make it a double, I'm drinking for two these days.
It went from cuddling and watching blood diamond to watching the three of them snort an entire $80 bag of blow off the coffee table
She just kept saying "bless your heart" to him while he cried because he came so fast. I think a Texas woman was just what he needed
Another reason why I like dubstep now, it makes me feel even higher than I already am.
Can't tonight. I'm supposed to get drugs for some college kids. Just doin my part in helping to enlight america's future
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
Some girl just walked passed me, said "fuck yeah!" and is now crawling up the stairs
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
GOT MY PERIOD AND AN INTERNSHIP OFFER THIS IS A WONDERFUL DAY
Are you good with a knife? I need someone to perform amateur surgery.
Drug test isn't today. Now I'm just sitting in this orientation with a bag of your piss in my pants
I just put condoms in a mason jar because it looked prettier than the box.I think I've peaked.
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