i watch way too much csi for them to even pretend to be my friend.
It's a sad day when you realize you are no longer above fucking in movie theater bathrooms.
In The Air Tonight was playing in the dentist's office. Had to stop the cleaner to do the drums.
We tried having a conversation with our noses.
i was the DD for the swedish students tonight. Got paid 23 dollars for driving 10 miles. gotta love ignorance and the confusion conversion brings.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
i don't think my dad can get all that mad since he got arrested for almost exactly the same thing last weekend
All I remember is mattress sliding down the stairs while giving him a blow-job. Sorry you had to witness the incident.
There is a 5-year old here fighting 'drunk monkeys'. He tried to knock a drink out of my hand with a plastic light saber...
IDK DUDE BUT HE TIED IT WITH A SHOELACE SO I GOTTA FREE SHOELACE OUTTA THE DEAL. THIS GIVES A NEW MEANING TO LACED DRUGS
but it was less of a make out and more of a goodnight kiss as a "thanks for giving our drunk asses a ride home and sorry we called your bar the worst bar in LA"
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Now that I've quit blow, I think I'm allergic to my cat....
Um went out in San Francisco last night and ignored someone hitting on me. So they bit my arm. Lmfao PLEASE TELL ME THIS ISNT THE SINGLE LIFE
Randomize
