Dude, we have the same penis size. Best friends for life.
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
I love online classes. Spent the last part of my lecture taking apart a teabag and filling it with weed.
and apparently i was drunk enough to follow up with "I'd let me touch your boobs" ... not my best line.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
Nothing like a $37 iTunes bill. Jesus Christ do you know how many $2 beer/shot specials that is??? The answer is 16. 16 beer/shot specials.
Dude, Taco Bell gave me a free fiesta potatoes when I won a bet on wether I could fit the entire rim of a cup in my mouth.
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
i love you man. i hope we fuck some serious shit up this summer.
So I vote that we skip the bowling and just go straight to destroying our livers.
Just got hit on by a 50 year old Englishman who is now swapping drunken racing stories with my mom. Live Mariachi band in the background. How's that for a wake?
So how was your new years? Did u ride a horse at 3am in zero degree weather? Because I sure did
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
I'm tryna think of an appropriate time to say "when I suck other dicks they seem like training dicks compared to yours" but I really can't think of a good way to say that
sometimes you just have to listen to beyonce and cry. that's how life works
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