U dropped me off n it hit me, i made it inside for exactly shit thirty on the nose, another minute n i would of had brown trowsers
I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
So I have to ask... did I meet your lumberjack expectations? I mean, minus the red flannel and all.
I hate seeing commercials about babies when i'm high
Yeah, I don't like babies at all
but, i was nude. you really should respect my stupidity and delete them. please.
One can only hope that this night would end with my thumb in another humans rectum.
And that's when he stuck his finger up his own ass to prove it would feel good...
I might scale it back and go as an investment banker. Which is the exact same costume as James Bond on LSD. I just introduce myself differently.
composition of my stomach right now: 60% C8H10N4O2 * H2O (coffee), 20% CaCO3 (pepto bismol/tums), 10% HCl (stomach acid), 5% fried rice, 5% residual adderall. i can do that by percent mass too. fuck you finals.
To be fair, I'm probably one of the better candidates for the role of 'baby daddy' in this town
Ask him to get me chedder bratwurst instead of the molly
Unless if you guys already left. Then I want the molly
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
But what we lack in money, we make up for in dry humor and drugs
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
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