i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
he poured tabasco sauce in my vag.. I'm still having a hard time going to the bathroom.
He was crying to my sister about feeling like a bad person. Then he groped my breasts.
The pick up line I used was "Grab my sack, you'll be back." Then I winked at her.
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Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
Remember that time I got suspended in eighth grade, well it was like that but I was on acid and wearing goggles
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
It was like in the Christmas carol when the guy pulls his robe back and 2 small children appear... except this time it was a massive scrotum
But the sex is so much better when he already has a girlfriend
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Do they sell "congrats in losing your virginity!" cards and do they come in gay?
It's shark week go big or go home
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
On a scale of "huh, that's interesting" to "holy porn stars, batman". How good?
Definitely closer to "holy porn stars, batman".
I had sex in the bed of a guy who owns a house last night so I feel like this is a significant step up from car sex in the parking lot of a library
Three cheers for handling my crush on my boss in an entirely reasonable manner, by having a threesome with my coworkers.
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