I'm walking behind a man wearing a womans shirt, heels, mens pants and a baseball hat
Britney fell asleep on the couch in the foier, got up stripped then pissed on the floor. Then got dressed and went to sleep in it. Also downstairs toilet clogged. Not me. I will be gone by the time you get home from work. Have fun.
wtf
I'm guessing you saw the bathroom?
We've been friends for six months, when do my benefits kick in?
I don't know but the stairs are covered in apples
I find it worrying that she bit me in bed. Then proceeded to write her name in bite marks. All without ever losing the rhythm of our fucking.
It's okay. My lingerie drawer is skanky enough for the two of us. Even across borders.
The trainer from the tech college told me that I would pass the first aid course so long as I turned up sober. Challenge accepted
Keep it up. It gets easier when you turn 21. Something happens in people's brains when they turn 21 and all of a sudden you have the power to drink constantly and abuse drugs and still graduate with good grades and your shit together. Im almost positive I read it in my freshman year bio textbook
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
No,she came up with a new game: "Where is the most interesting place I can show Drew my asshole?"
Do me a favor and scream dirty things at him in a polite sexy, come hither way
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
The cat's telling me to stop taking acid, and to start doing the lords work. I'm almost 99% sure he's talking about the dark lord.
THIS CAT'S GOING TO TURN INTO A SNAKE AND KILL ME! GET OVER HERE NOW! BRING YOUR WAND.
Sexual Dilemma - Covid Edition: Flirting with a cute frat boy. The Cougar in me wants to go back to his frat house and fuck his cocky brains out. The adult in me doesn’t want to get Covid and have to quarantine in a frat house for 2 weeks\n
Randomize
