Girl last night got so wet when I was going on down her it flooded up my nose. I nearly drown
I'm at my inlaws playing Scrabble. Go Fuck Yourself.
Tears do usually get me what I want. That and oral sex.
And my awkwardness continues. I felt the need to send him a text that said roar. I did it.
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
Lost is over, my longest committed relationship is coming to an end.
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
Let's just say that I took off my pants and I had superman boxers on. Then she took off her pants and she had batman panties on. I think she's the one!
Also, feel like I need to install a nanny cam to remind myself what I did the night before.
dude you know how i got totally hammered and lost my phone at some frat when i came to visit you two months ago? yeah well someone mailed it back to me in minnesota.. with a picture of a cock as the screen savor
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
i woke up on the couch at 5:24am, hangover, craving for some ribs, but i only had a bag of cheetos and a half empty beer. man what a breakfast.
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