I wish costco sold astroglide.
i wish my brain was less awake, and didn't try and picture what you were talking about.
Wow, haven't had to deal with the 'stoned at the dinner table' scenario in a while
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
And just when I was about to fall asleep, he hit me in the face, and claimed he's a "violent sleeper".
I started drinking at around 8.. Started heavily drinking around 815.
I was laying there trying to sleep and then he sat up, took out his dick, and put it on my shoulder. It wasn't even hard- it was just casually perched.
I would rather burn my vagina off with a damn flame thrower before I would touch anything that has touched her skank ass.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Oh and I'm kind of in the library.
Waiting for the foreign guy who keeps staring to make his creepy move.
Sometimes I really think that if... When your stoned you have a catlike ability to just relax in any position
He literally cried into his tacos and screamed fuck bitches. Don't know if it was the best, or the worst hook up, ever.
All I need is $1,500, a beach ready body, a bigger dick & this will be the best spring break ever.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
All I'm saying is this is the exact reason I should not be left unsupervised.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
