we are driving next to a guy driving and masturbating while looking at a naked magazine. I love LA
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
this kid at 40 friday greeted another kid by saying "heeey farmville neighbor"
dude.
yep. needless to say i didn't meet anyone and spent yet another friday night masturbating.
Am I a whore if I make out with a boy just so michelle can't?
This guy at the party just introduced himself to me as "the guy who sat behind you on a plane last year"
There's three frat guys comparing how you were in bed. apparently you have gotten worse with time
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
he just sent me a pic of him naked with a bucket of margarita mix hanging off his dick
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
I HAVE A PRESENT FOR YOU AND ITS NOT MY VAGINA
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
Although I'm glad you didn't let my climb in the sink, I really wish you would have let me pretend to be a duck in the shower for a little longer
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
Just used a NyQuil cup to take a shot. This night is headed nowhere good.
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