I'm drunk at a fancy martini bar, wearing jeans, drinking cheap vodka that I brought in my purse. Got thrown out of court for using my cell phone. All in all calling Thursday a success.
i just drank a strangers drink off a toilet
Sooo, drunk me had the sense of mind to write down everything that happened last night.....I bet you thought you'd get away with what you did to my parrot.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
I really couldn't tell if she was disgusted with the fact that I yacked on her shoes, or if she was about to do the same to me.
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
They just caught the deck on fire and I ran out with cups off the beer pong table filled with water from the toilet. It was the closest water source.
Update: we are pushing the start of day drinking back from 9 am to 10 am. Minor delay.
then you said,"Take this damn cabbage!" although it was actually your shirt. i found you in the elevator of his building.
well... I just junk punched a carnie. Doesnt matter how, it still counts for my bucket list.
Well, I can mark "throwing up in a daycare bathroom due to a hangover" off my bucket list.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
Nothing like the judgmental looks you get in the bathroom when you still have last night's glowsticks on
By NOT going to the gym, I'm helping my future. I don't want stripping, prostitution, or porn to be viable money making options.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Randomize
