Thursdays are my worst days
but now we sippin champagne when we thirstay?
You kept shouting "Relax and take notes" every time before you would hit the blunt
a cemetary is a place for people to rest in peace and you just spermed all over their land
Well, if they're both my boyfriend.. Then i cheated on both of them.
He just said "fuck you" to the bowl he's eating things out of
you came here, splled a bunch of margaritas, hung up a picture of yourself and then left
do you remember yelling at the waitress that you were a power bottom?
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Hah I guess I sent that to like ten people, along with another one of me sitting in a bath tub eating an ice cream sandwich.
What!? It's 7:30am on gameday. This keg is not going to drink itself.
We started off talking about nice cuddling and you turned it into fucking with a Santa hat on...
I impressed him by taking off my panties without removing my pants.
I mean I faked it but he could answer my texts
I'm eating animal crackers on my bed next to my vibrator writing about the hopelessness and depravity of humanity. I am LIVING.
Randomize
