Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
I thought she was mad at me, but then we did a pose off and I realized we're friends for life
She woke me up, whispered "I like the size of your dick", kissed me, and rolled over and went back to sleep
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
what is the most politically correct way to ask if he still hangs out with the guy that has blue hair and make meth in his car?
and my souvenir for the night was a nice ambulance blanket
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
Archery is over so let's go back to not giving a fuck for the next 3 years and 11 months
You screamed "show me a dick stand!" But before I could ask you wft that was you had passed out in the corner
Hot Damn Cinnamon Schnapps make me feel like the sun is punching me in the face and a bear is sleeping inside me.
New fuck buddy and long time fuck buddy are carpooling home for thanksgiving. #10hrconvoaboutmyblowjobskills
We told you to act sober so to prepare yourself you started doing squats and stretching then you slapped yourself and walked in
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Its a good night when you make $200 and didn't have to see any balls
You just can't go back to being friends with someone after you sucked their balls
Randomize
