Come to wood. Julia is putting pants on. We must stop her.
Here's my recipe for happiness. Go get a pen. 1. smoke a bowl 2. put on explosions in the sky 3. take a bath. Do this for about 1 hour or until all your problems go away.
even through the webcam i could tell he was aiming for my face/hair
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
She was Ugg boots AND a Bumpit. Of course I didn't sleep with her.
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
You can't just send the picture of my vagina back to me, 2 months after we broke up, and make small talk out of it.
I got carried out by security last night. AND the taxi had to drive up onto the sidewalk to get me i was that drunk.
I asked this couple what they would like to drink and they leaned toward me eagerly and asked if we still have THE root beer ... Idk if this is code for please add cocaine to my drink
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
he's just got his life so together and it makes my pussy wet.
It's a beautiful day to be high as fuck
Have a booty call at 3am, stopped for tacos at 2:30. It's 2:55 and I still haven't ordered but can't jump the curb to get out of line because there is a cop in front of me. What am I doing with my life?
Randomize
