i'm sick of taking my pants off and seeing a look of disappointment on the girls face. i want her to be frigthened
I just woke up to crumpled tissues everywhere. Looks like it was another night filled with tears and semen.
Adam has been drinking
Who has his phone
Adam does
Andrew is trying to convince me that i took your virginity. Please tell me he is lying.
define virginity.
She always manages to outslut me. I can't keep up
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
We found you passed out clutching your purse. There was 16oz of unopened cheddar cheese inside. You just kept saying SALSA YES.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
I wonder what it's like for my roommate to live bicuriously thro my sex life
The orgasm outlasted the Charlie horse. Pros and cons.
I love you, but it's "shark week" I'll make it up to you with naked breakfast.
What part of don't open in front of your kids didn't you understand? Astroglide, magnums, fuzzy handcuffs and a blindfold are going to be hard to explain as friends presents.
Just took acid. Wish me luck.
I worked out twice today and you're dropping acid. My life sucks.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
Randomize
