What would you say if someone told you they liked your lips?
Which ones?
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I woke up on a futon with 2 stolen budwiesers in my purse, 5 extra bucks, a sucker stuck to my shoe, one sock, and a stolen copy of the zombie survival guide
please tell me this is not legit
He's very warm and cuddly, that's my favorite thing about him. Besides his Porche. And his hot brother.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i don't know how it's possible. but i just bought groceries for a week with the money i made off returning empties
Our whole friendship has just been time foreshadowing my dick in your mouth.
I saw you sitting on top of my car trying to row back home... Did you make it?
Yes, but if I hadn't gotten here early, I never would have seen the butch lesbian midget waddling down stairs from the bar. Worth every minute of drinking alone.
no, throwing your underwear at it is not the solution to everything
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Yeah totally passed out in their trash can last night.
let your parents know i'm sorry i ran around the house pretending their metal detector was a "booze detector"
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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