He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
we hooked up on one of my student's desks last night...i can't decide if i'm ashamed or massively proud of myself
dude you teach first grade wtf
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
You guys seriously fuck to bieber? That's embarrassing...
He was rambling about life and dignity and happiness. but all i kept thinking was PENIS. YOU HAVE A PENIS. I CAN SHOW YOU WHERE TO PUT THAT PENIS.
we cant have a funnel and a dog. thats a lot of responsibility
Drunk. The frashmen love me. Give them. Toilrt paper. And shiots
And have you ever tried to explain a hickey to your own grandmother?
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
You were walking away to pee and as you were undoing your belt you looked at me and said "the belt is off. the game is on. Remever that."
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
well I got an eye infection from a stripper motorboating me but overall it was a great weekend
He told me I was a good dog mom. I've never been so turned on in my life
My mom found your leather pants in our guest room. She doesn't want to know why they are there, she just wants to know if you want them washed.
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
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