I need a slap back to reality. Or at least a slap back to homosexuality
Am I the only person who thinks Megan Fox looks totally like a Thai lady boy with a serious tanning bed fix?
You were so drunk you tried to sell your salsa to everyone on the restaurant.
i told the bartender last night that if the palace saloon made a calendar he would be every month.
Buying $100 worth of beef jerkey sounded like a terrific idea last night.
hungover + watching bobsledding = i just puked
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
I just woke up to three voicemails from you. In the first one you just straight laughed for 3 minutes. In the second you did bird calls. In the third you were hysterically crying. Have fun last night?
And then I asked the bartender for my third shot and he told me he had to cut me off at two because this was in fact a family fun center
Dude, Donte totally wants it. I don't have any idea how I do it. I'm not even cool. I'm not even the hero Gotham deserves. I'm barely high. My hands are swelling. Want me to pick you up anything from five guys?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I'm way too hungover for life right now
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
He showed up completely drunk with a 30 of PBR and ten cans of Spam. I like this kid.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
Randomize
