A big part of growing up is learning how to tastefully stare at women
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
you said grace in the diner. 5am, drunk, grace. you thanked the man w the mushroom cut for the wonderful supply of screwdrivers
I don't think there's a better bc pill reminder then when teen mom comes on
She's trying to master eating with her feet. She said it was be she "always has to be prepared."
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
It'd probably just be a lot of profanity and hyperventilation and deteriorating into tears anyways
so just a regular conversation then
Why do you hate her?
She's dating the best penis that has ever entered my vagina.....
My vibrator looks like a lipstick tube. So does my mace. I just realized the potential problems of keeping them both in the same bag.
I was going to make you have an awkward boner around all your coworkers but then I fell asleep.
This dude has batman tighty whities on over his cargo pants and he has the nerve to yell "fuck you bitch" up at my window.
If you had been home 20 minutes ago, you probably would've caught me masturbating, so it might be for the best.
Do you think he’ll fall in love with me if I tell him I have a nickname for his penis
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