worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
apparently he couldn't remember my name so he refereed to me as whats-her-boobs and everyone knew that it was me he was talking about
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
My warmest regards to the fish in that koi pond I puked in.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
its just been over 12 hours, and i`m dying, don`t know how i`m supposed to survive the holidays sexless
Im invoking the "no judgements" clause of our friendship.
My god, what have you done?
Just asked my roommate if she needs one of my old pill bottles to hold her weed during our move tomorrow. What has grad school done to me?
So my Mom pointed out my vibrator on the night stand next to my stun gun and reminded me of how much I drink.
i just got banned from the m&m's website for trying to get poon slayer written on my custom order
debating what would be more effort, turning on to my other side or trying to get myself off with my left hand. that kind of lazy day.
I repeat do not go to a jail visit drunk, those stools are easy to fall off.
Hey, you can never be fully sure you're straight until you jerk off to gay porn
And then she proceeded to tell us that blowing your brother made her feel like part of the family. At this point you were still pretending to be a cat. Need I give another reason she can't live with us?
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