i actually looked down at my cock today and said "whoa buddy, you need a haircut....(grimace) and a shower"
the pool opens at 11. by 1115 the ambulance had been called.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
It was then that he suggested we all nibble ears. A nibble circle.
The trick is to not slur when purchasing the condoms at 3am
should we take a power nap before our cocaine gets here?
maybe it wasnt such a good idea to pregame our lease signing...
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
Are you up yet? I really want to know if i tried sleeping in a field... i have the vaguest memory of trying to
Bro if you don't text me back I'm gonna send you a picture of my nut sack every ten seconds for the rest of the night. I'm home alone with nothing to do. Don't push me.
You are the only person I know who has a fierce hatred for a five year old. Not even five year olds in general, yours is very specific
Elliott peed on my floor and slept in it lol that's a one line description.
Dad danced on top of the bar with me last night. And has a video of me doing a beer bong.
Sorry about peeing on your phone last night
Randomize
