PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I ended up naked with smirnoff caps on my nipples. Dignity is now a completely foreign concept to me.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
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He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
We're now referring to our nightly Skype time as "strokes of genius." Long distance sucks.
Well if your hearts not big enough, your penis certainly is. Just have a threesome
we fucked in the backseat of my car at the observatory, right under the stars. it was a starry, orgasmic filled night
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You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
My vagina measures dicks. It's accurate to the half inch.
You ripped the leaves off the top of a pineapple then rubbed the rough skin part all over your face saying "this is how you mate with other species"
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
he called her and asked for me. he wants to do dinner and a movie
her booty call wants to take you to dinner?
We ran out of vodka, so instead of body shots you wanted to do cupcake shots off her naked body...happy birthday to you.
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