I introduced him to the male G-Spot. Don't ever tell me I'm not experienced.
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
Not even desperate vagina wants small cock.
Glad to hear you raised your standards
could hear acupuncture therapist getting blown in the next room over the whale music
mallory made a planned parenthood decision maker flow chart again.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
It's really sad that I'm trying to calculate in my head the type of place to have dinner that's worth anal
He's worked out some sort of arangment where all three of them are dating each other and they've all moved into an apt. with two king beds pushed together
A true beacon of hope in these dark times
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
He said he actually "met" me for the first time through a picture his housemate had of me, drunk and passed out in a pool of my own vomit, on the floor of his basement.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
I called plan parenthood at 407 am... Guess I was thinking ahead
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
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