so then she threw up in his asshole
yep..that'll do it.
you kept searching pizza on facebook and becoming a fan of each page dedicated to it
aaaannd alcoholism beats pride. it's like grown-up rock, paper, scissors
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
Theres a fat guy wearing a speedo. Someone just got puked on, and didnt even react. Whats happening?
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
i promise the blood crusted on your tits is from him motorboating you after he tripped into the pool stick. nothing else.
Playing basket ball at the park with random people that showed up at 1am. the division of teams is based on what drugs people are on
Have u seen my thong? Last time i saw it was drenched in vodka and on his brothers broken lamp.
Nah but tell him his boxers made it to the basement
I even tried crushing up viagra and putting it in his beer... And the next day he found the package on the counter. I told him it was for my friends husband.
I can't believe I'm giving you play by plays of this sexting convo. It's like a three way he doesn't know about.
In all fairness that 65 year old man looked 23 in club lighting so you can fuck right off
Afterwards I drank a whole bottle of cake vodka in the bathtub while he was bawling his eyes out. Hands down weirdest hookup I've ever had.
I just thought you should know... Instead of a glass of wine before bed I am having a few shots of 1800. This is what being a night shift nurse will do to you... Standing in your kitchen in your undies doing shots
He's a wizard, there is no other explanation for how hard I came last night. None.
Randomize
