You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
i wonder if i could find a boyfriend who would call me big papa
sure if you go to prison
Just saw someone buying TWO six packs of O'Doul's. WHY ??
You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
your mom just called me and asked me why i'm not in jail with you right now.
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
There's a middle eastern man wearing a cow costume with tequila coming out of his udders, but I'm not sober enough to feel uncomfortable with it.
He walks in. We each have a tiki torch. We say, the tribe has spoken. We put his out and then stab him with it.
We woke up in the room with a hamburger patty on the bed side table, one bun across the room, and the other bun under my pillow. Still don't know who ordered room service.
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
drunk in woodshop so don't even say "I SAWWW THIS COMING." I know you're thinking it.
Hydrocodon makes you feel like a fairy made out of pudding
also I have no idea whose underpants I'm wearing right now but they're super comfy and I'm not giving them back ever
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
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