i just used google streetview to figure out where i spent the night last night
I'm eating my dinosaur chicken nuggets in the order they would die in the food chain.
Omg. In the pub, there's a guy shouting at the olympic channel 'yeah! Kill that motherfucker!' we're watching figure skating.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I'm sure it was awkward. I've never had a professor expose parts of them to me before.
If it's any consolation, I've been sitting in the hallway in assless chaps for the past thirty minutes
i would have thought, that you two being my best friends, one of you would have atleast tried to catch me before i hit the ground after blacking out.
You took it upon yourself to rid the world of them, and by that I mean you dressed up as Batman and started kicking them in the shins.
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
She sneezed like 10 times, put her head down on the table and then laid down on their couch and fell asleep. In the middle of the dominoes game. I'll never understand why my dad continues to provide my mom wine.
In the last six hours i have procured a free sandwich, watched three movies, and came to orgasm. If that isn't productivity then i don't know what is.
you never un-have a 4some
the next morning we realized we didnt speak the same language... guess i subconsciously did learn a little german last semester. thanks study abroad.
ah the experiences a semester in Vienna can give you. Frau would enjoy knowing that even while sleeping during class you still managed to learn enough german to get laid
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
What happened last night?
Lets just say you asked me a couple times if you had eyeballs..
Randomize
