Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
Well, it's 24 hours till finals. I need high A's on all of them and I still am not sure where exactly on campus most of my classes took place.
So I fucked that hot french guy last night
You do know he's the one who threw up on our table, right? You get to clean it up.
Pass out mid-funnel last night.
So, I just sold my textbook to have money for Plan B.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
We lit firecrackers from NYE in the fireplace and he was so passed out that he slept through it.
I just realized I'm trading you a pregnancy test for the morning after pill...
It's been a bad semester.
I spent most of the night trying to drink out of three bottles of beer at once. I don't have to be told the reasons I'm single
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
HOW DID ALL OF US MISS THE OBVIOUS: I'LL SHAKE YOUR SPEARE
I need you to be best friend brutally honest about whether or not I can go into public like this.
FINALLY GOT MY TENTH DICK. PARTY FOREVER
Get here now. I need a drinking buddy. I don't care if you're in a different timezone, it'll be five o clock here faster.
Do you ever just admire your boobs?
Randomize
