anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
I decided that just having that story under my belt and being able to tell it to my grandchildren is worth the regrets of the evening.
He googled the address of the bar, then sent me a text saying "6.3 miles. Too far. :( Apparently I am only worth a 5 mile radius.
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
You're welcome to join, but just to warn you, tequila makes my clothes disappear. And I'm telling you that as an adult to an adult, not as your supervising teacher who decides whether or not you graduate.
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
What are you doing? Because if it happens to be drinking, or even any activity that rhymes with "drinking", I'll be over in 5.
The drunk people on this bus are singing Journey songs. This is the whitest thing I've ever experienced
I like that our conversation ended with "im gonna go get pregnant goodnight"
NO. FUCK YOU. I HOPE SOMEONE REPLACES YOUR LUBE WITH HOT SAUCE.
I'm never going to adult. I'm staying a child. The only thing related to adult that I want to do is you.
I'm sorry I didn't get you anything for your birthday
It's just you didn't get me the fucking bear suit last year
Really this has to stop, if they get any younger we will be breaking the law
WE ARE DOOMED.
And not the good kind of doomed. Assuming there is one.
it isn't the robot apocalypse that's for sure
in the middle of telling this chick to sober up i was shotgunning beers. im gonna be ab awsome nurse.
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